Monthly Archives: August 2015

What tonight’s post would be on FB if I weren’t so damn nice…

“I’m not mean, but I just can’t slow down to an intelligence level you’d understand.”


Bad parenting 101

pre-teen cleaning her room last night….
horrified, she calls to me to come quickly…..

her: (pointing to the antique bookcase in her room)

 “what is that???? is that MOLD under my lamp?!!?”

me: (eyeing the bookcase that I’d had my entire life, and noting the many shades of green it now sports)

 “I think that’s the wrong question.”

her: (flustered) “what’s the right question??!”

me: “when did you last clean the bookcase?”

scowling, she dismisses me from the room.

twenty minutes later…..

her: “I have a problem….”

me: “uh huh?”

her: “I think I accidentally sprayed my pizza with Febreeze.”

me: “you Febreezed your dinner??”

her: “I can’t tell. Will you check?”

she brings the pizza, which I promptly smell….

me, shaking my head: “it’s a pretty floral blend, mixed with an ocean breeze. Huh.”

I hand it back to her. Noting her distress, I begin laughing….

me: “really, febreezing one’s pizza is pretty priceless.”

and with that, we ordered Dominos.